AdvertBreak wrote:I started it today and from the initial mist it emerged it was cognitive therapy. I was surprised they didn't ask me the causes of my problems, but I listed the effects so that's to the point and in a few weeks time I'll be having another 1-1 to sort out coping techniques.
Okay so its been a while since I posted the story so I'll continue. Anyway after what i referred to last time, they officially booked for the therapy to begin mid February onwards for four weeks (later adding an extra two). So it began on 15 February at a local practitioners and it seemed to start well. Over the ensuing four weeks in fact, the originally booked sessions, it went quite okay. There wasn't any talking about the problems as such but still ways of coping with low mood, several techniques and stuff, so if that can work then good enough. And it kinda has, i've had a lot of papers to take away each week and lots of stuff to write and fill in to mark my progress.
Ultimately though I'm not sure if its doing too much anything really. Helpful techniques sure even if for just trying not to wheel in on the negatives on stuff and relieving stress. But more recently my low mood has got worse again and I find it really hard to focus on trying stuff out or on basically most things I do, be it internet, writing etc. (this week alone i've written five Wikipedia pages plus the forum awards as a real self-motivation and with hope they'd distract me and they have for a while at least) so they aren't much help at the minute. Last week was my penultimate session and I couldn't really focus even there; I've developed a bit of a crush on my therapist truth be told but last week (this crush has suddenly got a bit bigger) being there it just reminded me how lonely I am even in the face of her trying to help out with the general broad scope of low mood.
My final session is Wednesday but the work is over and instead its just going to be a half-hour kinda reflection on stuff and see if the whole therapy was helpful and if not, what I'd do next, and truth be told I don't know what to say. I really don't want to discredit her help and it's done at least one thing very noticeably good, that being my sleeping pattern has become more orderly again (another accidental good is that me developing my little crush is me crushing on someone who doesn't fit "my type" which can only be good given how specific it is), and though I'm not satisfied I don't want to say that and I can't help but feel I wouldn't be satisfied with any other sort of help anyway so I feel stuck. It doesn't seem as easy as to 'just tell her how I feel' because i really don't want to be negative (like its no different than me saying i'm satisfied with work at college even if i'm not, for example) but when she offers me, say, counselling or whatever should I choose to find other help, uh, like I dunno what to say ahhh.